"A long way gone," but hitting home in this Starbucks nation
As I was ordering my tall skim latte two weeks ago at Starbucks, my eyes -- always looking for something new -- wandered to their CD collection and its latest contribution to the greater global good, a new book called A Long Way Gone, Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah. I picked it up and started reading, then immediately had to buy it. It was certainly a long way from this Starbucks on Park Avenue to this young boy's tragic story in Sierra Leone during that country's civil war in the 1990s.
When Ishmael was 12, his family and town were decimated by rebel forces. Ishmael got away and for a year he wandered and witnessed the most atrocious acts that continue to haunt his every waking moment. At 13, he was picked up and made to be one of them -- the rebel attackers. What followed was hell on earth that seems unimaginable to most of us, and unthinkable when you look at your own kids and all they are so fortunate to have. Ishmael learned to kill, and he learned to laugh at the bloodied bodies he would then stomp on with the other kids-- all brainwashed. But Ishmael was one of the lucky ones because he was rescued by UNICEF in 1998. He was sent here to the U.S. and after a lot of rehabilitation and learning how to forgive himself, he was able to go on and graduate high school and in 2004 he graduated from Oberlin College.
The memoir opens with what could be a typical scene at any high school, though this one in NYC and the conversation is disturbing. Ishmael's friends ask him why he had to leave Sierra Leone. He says simply, because there is war. They ask, did you witness some of the fighting. He says everyone did. They press on, you mean you saw people running around with guns and shooting each other? He says, yes, all the time. To which his friends reply, "Cool." Teenagers, perhaps, but they could not know at the time all that he did to survive, to be able to be in the hallways of a New York city high school. What a faraway land that war seemed... and to this day according to UNICEF there are still an estimated 300,000 child soldiers in the more than 50 conflicts around the world. But that war in Sierra Leone, brought to your and my nearest Starbucks where $2 dollars of each book purchase will go to UNICEF -- which saved Ishmael's and so many other young children's lives.
Coincidentally, as I am now midway through the book, last week I read an article about it in the New York Times (March 10) and was glad to learn it has had great success in sales and Ishmael Beah is generating so much buzz. Perhaps it was a risky choice for Starbucks, but it proves perhaps we are hungering for more depth and a greater understanding of what is happening around the world.
I can only imagine what the once boy soldier must now think when he sees people buying their lattes or cappuccinos and a copy of his memoir -- thankfully, he has come a long long way.
Lords of the Rings
I spent the weekend in Santa Monica with my family basking in California's almost always perfect weather-- when I witnessed what might be just a local phenomenon... A "ring culture." Who they are I have no clue, but what they can do as they swing from ring to ring is most impressive-- like trapeze artists at a circus. Why I write about this is because it's an interesting (at least I think so) observation in human behavior -- and particularly an observation about men... Though there are women "ringers" too.
If you've been to the beach in Santa Monica I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. There is a bar with about a dozen metal rings, and anyone who deems himself (or herself) strong enough can swing all the way across and back. All are included and invited to try -- though it takes a certain upper body strength and willingness to be humiliated when you don't quite cut it. Mostly it is the bronzed and chiseled alpha male that makes the attempt. The real ringers can do twirls in between like wanna be Olympians, and swing and arc their bodies into all sorts of contortions as they reach from ring to ring.
As I watched from afar my husband got in line with his "ring friends" as he started to call them by the end of the weekend. He wasn't the only non-regular giving it a go. Some Japanese tourists also waited their turn -- though neither could quite get far enough. An older gentlemen made a few failed attempts but finally, with his family and the regular ringers' support, he made it to the end. Everyone, ringers and spectators alike, gave him a big round of applause as if celebrating a rite of passage. As I said all are accepted. So why do so many men try? (Besides the need for attention while showing off their pecs.) Maybe it goes back to their pack-like mentality from the caveman days (sorry guys) or simply an eagerness to prove their manliness. Certainly there's the challenge and the workout. And while it isn't a competiton -- the regulars do try to outdo one another. But there is also the bonding that goes on. Some of the regulars lend the non-ringers chalk for their hands, or dole out advice... Like you have to pull yourself up to one ring before reaching forward to grasp the other.
Fortunately, my husband is very strong and he made it to the end and back a few times, though his career as a ringer was cut short with the development of a few painful hand calluses. But even my 3 year-old son wanted to try and he was able to hold on for a few seconds.
As for me, you may be wondering? I had nothing to prove and was there for the spousal support. Ok, I do admit to grabbing on to the kids' set nearby. What I discovered? I'm better off with my feet firmly planted on the ground. Well, thank goodness it's a long way to Santa Monica and a definite amount of humiliation. My husband though, keeps talking about the "ring culture" like he's been indoctrinated into a muy macho select club. Oh well, boys will be boys.
My two newest heroes
People often tell me how wonderful my job is because I meet the most interesting people and cover some of the most incredible world events. Believe me, I consider myself blessed every day for the opportunities I have been given. Today, though, forget all the newsmakers and celebrities... I met two of the most inspirational young women who not only made my day, but gave me so much hope as they have given so many others with their incredible act of kindness and heroism.
They are Rachel and Kelsi Okun... sisters from McLean, Virginia and all of 12 and 8 years old respectively, but wiser than most people my age. Rachel and Kelsi were so inspired by the sacrifice that our troops and their families are making, they decided to do something about it. Last year they started their "brainblast" and put together the first of now two historical Treasure Hunt cluebooks to help raise money to send thanks and care packages to our troops and their families. With one workbook, they raised over $3.5 MILLION dollars. Now they are back with their second book, and many schools across the nation are using it in the classroom to teach kids the fun of learning about our country and its history. The book is free -- though they hope it will motivate you to make a donation to the scholarship fund for the families of our brave men and women in uniform: www.ThanksUSA.org or 1-888-thx-usa07.
I told Rachel and Kelsi about my own childhood as an Air Force brat. I was born in Taiwan -- my dad was stationed there during Vietnam, and would fly in and out of Taiwan on cargo missions. He later served in Desert Storm. I grew up on many Air Force bases where many families were in the same boat. Many missed birthdays, celebrations, etc... but nothing like spending years away from their families on one, two -- even three rotations overseas like our troops are having to do now. If you can believe it, as I thanked Rachel and Kelsi for all they've done to help families like mine, they actually thanked me for my sacrifice. What incredible girls with enormous hearts. You have to read what they wrote in an autographed copy of my treasure hunt book:
Dear Ms. Natalie,
Your enthusiasm is what THANKS is made of. You and your family are the ones who let us be who we want to be! Thank YOU! Remember, your smile is as bright as your dress!
Love,
Kelsi and Rachel Okum
My morning started with a segment on how our young girls idolize celebrities like Paris Hilton, Brittney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan among others -- all who seem to be on a path of destruction and are setting all the wrong examples. Well what a stark contrast to then meet two young women who can and will be anyone or anthing they want because they earned it and a whole lot of respect along the way by being pretty fantastic. I hope they are heroes to their friends too because if two sisters can do so much for so many, imagine how they can inspire a nation to give our veterans and their children all that they deserve.
My thank you to Rachel and Kelsi for again, making me believe again in our youth... and making me believe anything is possible no matter how old you are. YOU GO GIRLS.
Oh, and check out these two angels:
Trading places
For the last two weeks Nightly News has been bringing you some very personal stories about what we all will face at some point in our lifetime: helping our loved ones as they grow older. From discussing long-term care options to what some of our very own parents are doing to stay active while trying not to lose their independence.
This series comes at a time when my husband and his family recently made some very difficult and emotional decisions regarding my mother-in-law. Kay is just about to turn 65, but she is already in the very progressive stages of Early Onset Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed almost 8 years ago... Imagine, Alzheimer's in your 50s. I did not know how prevalent early onset was until it happened to us. So much for those golden years my father-in-law planned and saved for all his life. Though it's a good thing he did, because that money is now paying for Kay's full-time care in an Alzheimer's facility. Prior to that though, and for the last decade, he was her sole caregiver, with none of his children nearby in Colorado where they live. He took care of Kay up until the point he realized he couldn't do it anymore and was putting his own health at risk. Now she is getting the best care possible, but it has been a very painful thing for the whole family.
Kay does seem more content now... Her eyes light up when you visit and she loves seeing her grandchildren, though sadly she doesn't understand they are her grandchildren. But she still recognizes my husband (her son) and her daughter, as well as her husband. What a horrible disease-- to be robbed of your memories -- there is nothing worse, in my opinion.
I praise all those caregivers who do the impossible. Early on, a woman would come to my in-law's house and just volunteer her time to help out because her mother too had Alzheimer's. She is a real hero in our lives because she stepped in when it was very difficult for my father-in-law to cope. Unfortunately, too many family and friends tend to not want to deal with it, or don't know how to, and therefore they drop off the radar at a time when they're needed most.
What I worry about most now is the genetics of Early Onset. There is a very clear link that if one parent gets it early that future generations will also suffer with it. I hope and pray all the groundbreaking research being done now to prevent or even find a cure for Alzheimer's is successful.
On a final note, this has made me realize how important it is to live for today rather than always planning for our tomorrows. Though I recognize now more than ever how important it is to be prepared for life's unpredictable turns.
"No candle in the wind...more like a matchstick in a hurricane"
Those were the very words I used to describe Anna Nicole Smith in a Dateline report this past weekend, and sadly it seems to be the most apt description for Anna Nicole Smith. I wondered when I first heard the news how much people would care about her death given how recklessly she lived her life. All cable and even main networks went into overdrive giving Anna Nicole’s death every last bit of attention – attention she always craved in life. And for the most part, I think we (the news media) were a little surprised how much people were talking about it… and genuinely seemed to feel sorry about her loss. Why did we care about this woman, who showed such promise at various points in her life? Perhaps hers is the classic all-American rags to riches (almost riches) story. She came from a trailer park, practically raising herself in Mexia, Texas. Her father abandoned her and her mother at a very early age. But Anna Nicole had a dream, one common to many young American girls, of being rich and famous. And what follows perhaps is more of a cautionary tale now to those young women. By using her body and beauty, Anna Nicole made something of herself, albeit briefly. She became a Playboy pin-up girl who wanted to be someone she was not… but everyone seemed to embrace her in the beginning as a pseudo-Marilyn Monroe replacement.
The train-wreck quality of her life has been talked about much these last few days. Maybe that’s why we paid so much attention in the beginning. Not many who knew her could say they didn’t see this tragic end coming. While we have yet to conclusively learn what killed her, I chose to believe a kinder version of events. Yes I know prescription drugs were found in her room and yes, she had a history of abuse. Yes, she probably did die much like her young son Daniel, as we may learn in the coming days. I think though, what killed her, and what made her all human to us in the end, is she died a woman with a broken heart. Interesting, I thought, when the medical examiner announced there was some abnormal inflammation to her heart, though it couldn’t be ruled a cause of death. But Anna Nicole lost her 20 year old son 5 months ago and never recovered, it was said by so many within her circle. How could she recover, I ask? As a mother of a young boy, I can’t even imagine what that pain would feel like. Throughout her life though, she said Daniel was the only person in the whole world she could trust. While everyone around her seemed to want a piece of her (her body, her money—when it was hers—her fame), Daniel seemed to want only one thing, as you see in all the coverage of the two together, he wanted to be there with her at her side—his arm often protectively around her. Perhaps she realized in the end, all that attention she craved in life she did get in the best of ways—by being a mother. It’s the most tragic of stories that while she was welcoming another life into the world, her son died at her side. Maybe too, there was guilt: that her life on the edge had something to do with her son’s death. He died of a lethal combination of methadone and prescription anti-depressants. And many speculated that that too, was how she died. But now in her death, the mess of her life is far from over. She leaves a poor baby girl, Dannielynn, who has no mother, has many men claiming to be her father, and will have many legal battles no doubt to settle too—including whether or not she will get the fortune Anna Nicole fought so much.
Why we care though I think, is Anna Nicole, for as wild as her life was, seemed so fragile in the end. In some of the interviews I have done recently, it was said, she always had to struggle. Something we all can relate to… and she always fought hard—even was victorious as we saw in her appearance at the Supreme Court last year. Her tragic, almost Shakespearean flaw, was she was always wanting more, never realizing, perhaps until it was too late, she had it all to begin with. When was she most happy? You can see it in her face in that photo of her after giving birth… with her newborn daughter and son both at her side. She found the meaning of life … by giving life… only to see it so sadly taken away.
